It took me more than 2 years, a great amount of desolation and a magnificent library to inspire me back to my writing ways.
My best friend is working, and it keeps the person busy most of the times. All my good friends are into their internships too or have something or the other which keeps them occupied. Ouch. So, for me, dealing with loneliness is a big (and ongoing) part of my life, and it has taken me a few months, and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with feeling alone.
I remember when I was in the middle of moving into a new job and city, and I hit some pretty low points during that period. I was stressed, physically exhausted, mugged, and pushed to my emotional limit. At one point, I had a full meltdown on my kitchen floor because I couldn't get the cooker to work, and I sat there, drenched in water, bawling my eyes out, feeling completely alone. Obviously, you don't have to not have a girlfriend to feel lonely at times, but these are the ways I've tried to keep my chin up and face feeling lonely head-on.
I have to admit that working on my master's degree during the Fall of 2016 was actually one of the best things for me. I was honestly too busy to be sad or lonely; I just didn't have the time! I don't know if this idea is a way to completely avoid or try to stuff your emotions deep down (that's not emotionally healthy either), but when you are involved in things that you enjoy and challenge you, your focus shifts from negative thoughts to positive ones. Set a goal or make a challenge for yourself to fulfill. You could spend more time on your academics, train to keep your body fit, learn to cook, read books, volunteer, or even start blogging. Trying to combat loneliness is one reason that I started this blog in the first place.
Unfortunately, I don't have the physical support of my family in this country to lean on when the most important person in your life is not there, but I am blessed to have lots of great friends that I know I can count on if I'm feeling a little down. But as tempting as it can be to make a call and hang out with someone anytime I feel a bit blue, I don't want to be totally dependent on my friends to cure my loneliness every time I feel alone - that's ultimately my job to deal with those feelings, not just their job. And yes, sometimes being with people you love lifts your spirit like nothing else can, but don't make your friends and family to be the only cure for your blues every time. What if they are busy or unavailable? They have their own lives and struggles to deal with sometimes, and it can put a lot of pressure on others if they feel that they are your sole source of strength. So make your loved ones an important part of your support network, but not the only part.
Watch out for bad habits. This one can be a big deal depending on what your bad habit is. It's possible that your bad habit may be a genuinely unhealthy action that's brought out when you feel upset or stressed, but most of the time it's a normal thing that gets taken to the extreme when you feel down (like eating tons of junk food when you feel upset). While I'm also totally guilty when it comes to lonely sessions of Blaze Pizza and Insomnia cookie eating, my personal bad habit is going traveling everywhere and spending more than I normally would just because I feel lonely (and also because I just love traveling). Most people can pinpoint their bad habits pretty quickly, so just make sure to keep an eye on that negative coping skill to keep the activities you enjoy at a healthy level.
Let's face it: As great as texting is, it's not always quite the same as speaking over a phone, which is not the same as being with another human being (especially if you are missing a specific human being). Even with my work and goals, friends and family, and hikes and travels, I still feel lonely at times when that one special person is not there. But you know what? That's okay! Loneliness creeps in when we want to feel connected to others (but don't at that moment), and without our internet and social-media-based culture, it can be an especially uncomfortable feeling to realize you're disconnected. But that feeling doesn't have to be a negative if you can take it as a time to breathe and reconnect with yourself. Being an introvert, I draw my strength from times of being quiet and alone, and I can use that alone time to unpack my worries and breathe a bit. And if you feel really bummed and just can't move past the feeling, it's okay to let that out too! Sometimes I just need to allow myself to feel sad for a moment, have a good cry to release the emotional build-up, and then wipe my eyes and move onto something I enjoy.
Overall, loneliness is something I have dealt with a lot, over the past couple of months, especially. Learning how to deal with those feelings when they come up can really improve your overall quality of life and keep you on a positive path. What are your tips for dealing with loneliness? Let me know.
My best friend is working, and it keeps the person busy most of the times. All my good friends are into their internships too or have something or the other which keeps them occupied. Ouch. So, for me, dealing with loneliness is a big (and ongoing) part of my life, and it has taken me a few months, and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with feeling alone.
I remember when I was in the middle of moving into a new job and city, and I hit some pretty low points during that period. I was stressed, physically exhausted, mugged, and pushed to my emotional limit. At one point, I had a full meltdown on my kitchen floor because I couldn't get the cooker to work, and I sat there, drenched in water, bawling my eyes out, feeling completely alone. Obviously, you don't have to not have a girlfriend to feel lonely at times, but these are the ways I've tried to keep my chin up and face feeling lonely head-on.
I have to admit that working on my master's degree during the Fall of 2016 was actually one of the best things for me. I was honestly too busy to be sad or lonely; I just didn't have the time! I don't know if this idea is a way to completely avoid or try to stuff your emotions deep down (that's not emotionally healthy either), but when you are involved in things that you enjoy and challenge you, your focus shifts from negative thoughts to positive ones. Set a goal or make a challenge for yourself to fulfill. You could spend more time on your academics, train to keep your body fit, learn to cook, read books, volunteer, or even start blogging. Trying to combat loneliness is one reason that I started this blog in the first place.
Unfortunately, I don't have the physical support of my family in this country to lean on when the most important person in your life is not there, but I am blessed to have lots of great friends that I know I can count on if I'm feeling a little down. But as tempting as it can be to make a call and hang out with someone anytime I feel a bit blue, I don't want to be totally dependent on my friends to cure my loneliness every time I feel alone - that's ultimately my job to deal with those feelings, not just their job. And yes, sometimes being with people you love lifts your spirit like nothing else can, but don't make your friends and family to be the only cure for your blues every time. What if they are busy or unavailable? They have their own lives and struggles to deal with sometimes, and it can put a lot of pressure on others if they feel that they are your sole source of strength. So make your loved ones an important part of your support network, but not the only part.
Watch out for bad habits. This one can be a big deal depending on what your bad habit is. It's possible that your bad habit may be a genuinely unhealthy action that's brought out when you feel upset or stressed, but most of the time it's a normal thing that gets taken to the extreme when you feel down (like eating tons of junk food when you feel upset). While I'm also totally guilty when it comes to lonely sessions of Blaze Pizza and Insomnia cookie eating, my personal bad habit is going traveling everywhere and spending more than I normally would just because I feel lonely (and also because I just love traveling). Most people can pinpoint their bad habits pretty quickly, so just make sure to keep an eye on that negative coping skill to keep the activities you enjoy at a healthy level.
Let's face it: As great as texting is, it's not always quite the same as speaking over a phone, which is not the same as being with another human being (especially if you are missing a specific human being). Even with my work and goals, friends and family, and hikes and travels, I still feel lonely at times when that one special person is not there. But you know what? That's okay! Loneliness creeps in when we want to feel connected to others (but don't at that moment), and without our internet and social-media-based culture, it can be an especially uncomfortable feeling to realize you're disconnected. But that feeling doesn't have to be a negative if you can take it as a time to breathe and reconnect with yourself. Being an introvert, I draw my strength from times of being quiet and alone, and I can use that alone time to unpack my worries and breathe a bit. And if you feel really bummed and just can't move past the feeling, it's okay to let that out too! Sometimes I just need to allow myself to feel sad for a moment, have a good cry to release the emotional build-up, and then wipe my eyes and move onto something I enjoy.
Overall, loneliness is something I have dealt with a lot, over the past couple of months, especially. Learning how to deal with those feelings when they come up can really improve your overall quality of life and keep you on a positive path. What are your tips for dealing with loneliness? Let me know.
