THE MELLIFLUOUS MUSIC OF KOHLI’S BATTING

Inimitably unique off the field, India’s batting leader brings calm and classicism that warms connoisseurs hearts to the centre  - Virat Kohli has been one of the more consistent batsmen in recent times.
Moments after he lost his shape, and his wicket, in the Super 10 match against the West Indies on Sunday (March 23), Virat Kohli threw his head back, a look of equal parts disgust, disappointment and no little anger clouding his face. In an attempt to up the rate of scoring, Kohli had essayed the most un-Kohli-like hoick off Andre Russell. The lack of balance told; all he managed was to divert the ball on to his stumps, the red flashes from the disturbed stumps and the dislodged bails telling him that it was time to wend his way back to the hutch.


By then, Kohli had galloped to 54 and India had closed to within 23 runs of a second consecutive victory. Against that backdrop, the reaction might have appeared a touch extreme. The reaction, though, was encouraging from the point of view of the Indian team and its fans. Virat Kohli isn’t an easy man to please, the standards he sets for himself are remarkably high, and he doesn’t enjoy giving his wicket away, no matter the circumstances or the compulsions.

India has been reasonably untroubled thus far in its march at the ICC World Twenty20 2014. It owes its status as the leader of Group 2 to the bowlers, who have been pleasantly effective in restricting Pakistan and West Indies to 130 for 7 and 129 for 7 respectively in  two matches thus far at the Sher-e-Bangla Stadium. These are totals that, more often than not, get chased down with some degree of comfort in Twenty20 cricket, unless the pitch is so diabolically loaded in favour of the slower bowlers that even survival becomes difficult, forget about boundary-striking or rotation of the strike.

Conditions at the Sher-e-Bangla have been far from diabolical. Admittedly, there is more for the bowlers, of the spinning sort in particular, in the night games, but batting second under lights hasn’t appeared all that demanding. Then again, that could be because of Kohli. Only time will tell.

Kohli, of course, has made it a habit of stamping his authority across almost every cricket ground in the world. From the time he showed that he belonged at the highest level with a sparkling century against Australia in the Adelaide Test in January 2012, he has been an unstoppable force, gathering momentum with every passing outing and today establishing himself among the top batsmen in all three formats of the game. There aren’t too many who can claim to be in that elite group. His consistency across Tests, 50-over and T20 cricket is something that can only be marvelled at. At 25, Kohli has already ensured that most of the adjectives have been exhausted. The greater part of his career, perhaps even his best years, lies ahead of him. Just to think what he can go on to achieve should he continue to build on the gains of his first half-dozen seasons in international boggles the mind, truly.

There are some who might crumble under the weight of being the kingpin of the batting unit so early in their careers. They can allow the pressure of being expected to hold up the innings, to lend it direction and substance, reassurance and rudder, time after time, to get to them. And then there is, like Sachin Tendulkar before him, Kohli, who positively thrives on being the one everyone looks up to.

Lest it should be so construed, this is no attempt to compare Kohli with Tendulkar. The glorious past of Indian, indeed world, cricket has slipped into history; the exciting present, which holds the promise of a spectacular future, is a star in his own right, a batsman in the classical mould who has used his strong basics and an intelligent mind to court success in even the abridged versions without compromising on the orthodoxy that makes him so easy on the eye. Kolhi is his own man, a man after his own heart, an entertainer and a performer, and a showman when he so desires.

But don’t be taken in by the earring and the tattoos. Those are fashion statements much in vogue these days, even in Indian cricket which has tended over the years to place its faith in the ‘good boys’, the conformists rather than the trend-setters. It’s a sign of the changing times that today, the poster boy of Indian cricket is a wonderfully balanced amalgam of the conventional when it comes to the game itself and the inimitably unique when it comes to life off the field.

That he has managed to compartmentalise so effortlessly, to channel his energies toward cricket when it is time to do so and yet have the confidence and the courage to be himself when he is not involved with the game is one of Kohli’s great strengths and gifts. He is unafraid of being spoken about. His private life can seldom remain private because, after all, he is a celebrity and therefore, we all believe, has no access to something as ‘mundane’ as a private life. But if he is affected by the full relentless, omniscient eye of public glare, then he is also a very fine actor to go with being a very fine batsman, because there is no outward evidence of that.

Bangladesh has been fortunate to have witnessed Kohli at his majestic best from close quarters. The Sher-e-Bangla has been a particularly favourite hunting ground. In 11 ODIs, he has made an astonishing 737 runs at 105.28. There have been four hundreds and three fifties in 10 innings, including a truly breathtaking 183 off 148 deliveries that allowed India to scale down Pakistan’s 329 with ridiculous ease some 24 months back, in the Asia Cup.

Already in this World T20, Kohli has scores of 36 not out and 54 in modest run-chases that can sometimes turn out to be tricky. When he has walked out at first wicket down – be it at 54 against Pakistan or on 1 in the first over against the West Indies – he has brought with him a sense of calmness and purpose. To watch him at work is a joyous experience that warms the cockles of the connoisseur. The surety of feet movement, the closeness of the bat to the body, the dexterity of the wrists, the fluency with which he drives through the on-side with an admixture of those wrists and the bottom hand, the way he gets low to drive through the covers – each act is poetry in motion.

Kohli has the steel and the substance too to go with the style. India’s captain in waiting must wait awhile, because Mahendra Singh Dhoni isn’t finished yet, but he sure can help his captain carve out another slice of history. For that, his bat must continue to produce the most mellifluous music for the next 12 days or so, at the very least.

CRICKET'S GREATEST PLAYER, EXITS THE STAGE

The fact that everyone knew it would come soon makes it no less agonizing when it arrives; Like a close family member suffering from a terminal disease you know the end is near but there are still tears when the end comes.

For India's greatest cricketer, the end had come at the conclusion of the second test of the series against the West Indies. Sachin Tendulkar had played his 200th and last Test in a career that spanned 24 glorious years, in which he has broken batting records aplenty and inspired millions of his countrymen.

But while the dejection at his impending departure can scarcely be stifled, the more appropriate feeling, though this may seem counterintuitive, should be that of appreciation. Every age throws up its champions; names like Brian Lara, Sourav Ganguly, Glenn McGrath, Ricky Ponting, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, Shane Warne and Dale Steyn, among others, will be with us as long as the great game lasts. Tendulkar has been one of the very best of his time and we are fortunate to have observed such a master as he engaged in the business of making runs.

The world first took notice of Tendulkar as a 16-year-old wunderkind who was destined for greatness. At an age when most of us were grappling with the trials of approaching adulthood, he was playing test cricket for his country, sharing the game's biggest stage with men who were already legends.

The runs didn't flood in right away, but before we were tempted to wonder what the fuss was about there was a hundred at Old Trafford on the 1990 English tour. Two more came on the 1991-92 tour of Australia, including an exquisite 114 in the lion's den at Perth while everything crumbled around him. There could be no denying his quality now, and Tendulkar would go on to build a statistical edifice that will be near impossible to surpass. He was relentless in his run scoring - a glutton who squeezed the maximum out of every run-gathering opportunity. His level of skill was almost otherworldly. In studied defence his blade appeared broader than any in the game. His push through mid-on, especially in his early days, was as bankable a shot as the game has known. If he were a bit discomfited by the short ball in the beginning, he grew to the point where he could beat back the likes of Brett Lee at his fastest, and spin bowlers, even of the caliber of Shane Warne, knew that their best offerings might still be dominated by the "Little Master."

In terms of both magnitude and intensity, the boy from Mumbai attracted a level of devotion unlike anything ever experienced in sport in India. But this level of hero-worship was invasive and forced Tendulkar into a kind of cocoon from which he could seldom escape. Peaceful moments in public became impossible and only darkness and disguise allowed him any semblance of normal activity in communal spaces.

I am not qualified to make this judgment, but this state of affairs might have imposed a level of discipline upon the batting master that served him well in the exercise of his craft. Even as he strove to subjugate his opposition, the tight control was always apparent.

Prior to a test match against the West Indies at Perth, Australian Kim Hughes vowed to resist the risky hook shot until, he said, "I am 150 and we were 3-330." Early in his innings, however, Michael Holding fed him a bouncer which he hooked down Malcolm Marshall's throat at deep square leg, 146 runs earlier than he promised.

In 2004, Tendulkar decided to put away the cover drive in Sydney, after falling to the stroke in Melbourne when he seemed set for a big score. Eighty-two runs in five innings was well below the standards he had set for himself, and he was determined make things right. If shunning the off side drive was what he felt was best for his game at the time then that is what he would do. The result was 613 minutes at the crease for 241 runs without a single drive through the covers. Even as Laxman enchanted the gathering with drives through the off side and all round the park, Tendulkar remained resolute, never once departing from his pledge, though the temptation to do so must have been considerable.

From getting excited in 1994 when he made his then-highest Test score of 179 to feeling cheated when he was not awarded the Man-of-the-series in the 1996 World Cup for being the highest and classiest scorer in the tournament. From remembering the painful struggle he went through as captain in 1997 - when he had to battle not only opponents but officials as well - to feeling exhilarated throughout much of 1998, as the destroyer in Tendulkar returned to quell not just Australians but sandstorms too on an unforgettable night in Sharjah. From having our hearts broken along with his when he miscued a Saqlain doosra in the Chennai Test of 1999 to having our faith in the game restored during the match-fixing scandal, when it was revealed that bookies would take bets on Indian matches only after he got out.

From remembering the 2003 World Cup as an image forever frozen of Tendulkar cutting Shoaib Akhtar over third-man for maximum to shaking our heads in disbelief in 2004 at the amazing self-control and discipline of a man who did not play a single cover drive in an innings of 241 not out.

From exulting with him at burying the ghost of 'finishing' matches for India in the CB series in 2008 to the sharing his solemn joy and humility at bringing a Test victory to the nation immediately after his city had been ravaged by scum towards the end of the year.

Through proxy-wars and floods, through terrorist attacks and droughts, through living under corrupt politicians and battling for survival at work or school - through it all, it was one man that brought us hope. One man who needed only to wield a bat to unite the most diverse country in the world. A hero who did not need a script, arc-lights and endless retakes to have the audience gasping in awe, but played out his dramas in real-time.

A credible argument could be advanced that India's heartbeat should have hung up his helmet some time ago. It is undisputed that his powers have seriously waned; his movements at the crease have not been as assured as they were in his prime; his defences have been too frequently breached; and runs that once flowed like the Ganges have slowed to a trickle.

Not that he hasn't suffered bad patches before: A poor run of form that began in 2004 never really ended until sometime in 2007. But it was followed by the most productive period in his career. This time, however, is different. The great man is now 40, and though cricket has occupied most his waking hours (and probably much of his sleeping ones as well) since he was born, retirement could not be deferred much longer. If, in the final analysis, it was delayed for him to reach the landmark of 200 tests, then no one was more deserving of such a historical achievement.

So, as the time nears for us to bid farewell to one of the game's greatest, it is normal that his departure from the middle will cause some sadness. His fabulous speech today must have surely brought tears to each and everyone who watched it. It's probably the most emotional and inspiring speech we are gonna get in a long time. Humility was the only word that came to my mind when SRT walked all alone and paid reverence to the 22 yards where he had spent 24 years of his life. A memory to etch. We all definitely feel sad that its curtains down for him but let us also rejoice in the fact that we were able to witness the artistry of Tendulkar, and that technology gave us a front row view of greatness unfolding before our eyes.

Finally I would like to say - Batman puts on a cape, Spiderman wears a costume, Superman sheds his normal clothes to reveal his true self - Sachin Tendulkar needs only to pick up a bat in hand to be a superhero. 

#ThankYouSachin

A Movie Geek's Steps for Disaster Film - Making

I've seen enough disaster films to know the stereotypes that need to be added in a movie if it needs to fit into the"Disaster film" genre. After having seen 2012 last night, I guess I can proclaim that I have the authority to pen down some guidlines one needs to follow for making a disaster film. These guidlines are also a part of the syllabus in "Roland Emmerich's School of Disaster film- making".

1. Cardinal Rule for The Hero : The hero is the 2nd most eye-catching factor of any disaster movie (1st one being the special effects) Your hero should be an unorganized, slobby, good-looking loser who should have a failed marriage, his career graph should be going south, and it adds more authenticity if he is a garage mechanic/ limo driver/ shoe salesman/school teacher/ construction worker unable to pay mortgage . It is guys like these who play our Messiah in a disaster movie. If Tom Cruise can play a loser in War of the Worlds, so can anyone.

2. Cranky Guy / Soothsayer : He is the wierd guy who can predict that shit's gonna fall from heaven, but nobody will believe him, including our hero. Because he is wierd, has long hair, speaks cranky stuff to himself, add to that he is a conspiracy theorist who blames the government for everything that has happened, from Rosewell to the JFK assassination.

3. The Family factor :  A broken family is essential for any disaster movie, the purpose of any earthquake, tsunami, or a global warming is to bring an estranged family together. So what if the whole world was turned upside down? Atleast you got your family back and are happy together again, only that you got no home to live in. The family should consist of

a. The hero's ex-wife : A hawt yummy mummy who thinks our hero is a big- time loser and a bad father who doesn't spend enough time with his children. The secondary mission of the hero is to redeem himself in her eyes after saving the world.

b. The pesky kids : Always have a boy and a girl whom the hero can take out for camping, fishing after being hounded by his ex-wife to do so. The kids too should think that their father is an all-time loser(they obviously get the idea from their yummy mummy) The kids should be irritatingly dumb and should ask our hero crazy questions at a time when he is busy saving their asses, the questions they should ask will be discussed later.

c. The guy screwing the ex-wife: The hero's ex-wife must be living with another man who is successful, rich, a good company to the pesky kids and buys them cool stuffs. Note that heshould not be as good lookin' as the hero, because it will only pose a problem to the heroine at the end of the movie on to whom to go back to, the good lookin loser of an ex-hubby who saved the world or the guy she is currently screwing who has it all (maybe not all because an earthquake may have destroyed it all).

4. The Dog : The dog plays a crucial role in a disaster movie, go for the adorable puppies or the cute and cuddly sons of bitches. Put them in a scenario where they are in some serious shit fighting for their life, maybe they have to jump off a ledge or catch a moving a car or train or spaceship. But never ever kill em, these pups are great pussy magnets (am not talkin bout kittens or cats here). Seeing a cute pup in trouble can make any chick squeal with anxiety, they are so dumb not to realise that Hollywood doesnt kill dogs, let alone puppies, we have seen this in so many disaster films. By the end of the movie these dogs end up being a part of the hero's family, giving company to the pesky kids who find him cute enough to play with. Thus completing the picture perfect family of

a. The Loser turned Savior hero
b. The Hawt yummy mummy
c. The pesky kids
d. The dog/ pup

5. The President and his speech : There has to be a President, preferably a African- American President, Morgan Freeman did it in Deep Impact,  and also throw in a scene where he gives his famous presidential speech to America that maybe broadcasted all over the world, use sentences like :

America will fight
We will stay together/ united
We will have the will to survive...
We all nations should come together at a time where the world is at the brink of disaster
Also show a shot of a bunch of rednecks in Times Square going "wo-hoo" as they see their Mr. President on a mega big-ass screen TV, speaking about the will to survive. Paint a picture as if greatness is thrust on the US of A to save the rest of the world from a disaster.

6. The Boss and his Subordinate : In a parallel storyline put in a cold and calculating boss of a govt agency who has been entrusted the task of making plans to save humanity, he should be a cold and calculating Whiteboy who runs a tight ship giving orders, making sure that he sticks with the deadline. He is like Dr.Asthana from that Munnabhai movie, cold, calculating and uses his head instead of his heart.

The sub-ordinate must be a black guy who has a heart of gold, a quintessential nerd who bows down to his boss's demands from the beginning of the movie, but later in the end grows a pair to question his Boss' authority and fights for the rights to survive of the other less fortunate people. Needless to say, the dude with the heart of gold and balls of steel wins the argument.

7. Cheesy lines : These are the lines that one has to say to give the effect of a Disaster movie:

a. "You should see this" - This line gives the viewer anxiety pangs of what he is about to see, this line acts as a buildup to scene of disaster which we are about to witness. Applicable only to pilots / captains of any vessel or airplane who are relaying information to their superiors.

b. "Holy Mother of God!" - to be said when one sees the trail of disaster left behind by an earthquake or a tsunami, applicable only to minor characters with lesser screentime who are gonna die anyway in another 3 minutes. This line usually follows "You should see this"

c. "We all gonna die!"  - Applicable only to the cranky guy who says this to spook you and everyone in the hall.

d. "Stay here I will come back" - A poor man's version of "I'll be back" which was made so popular by Arnie in the Terminator series. Applicable only to the hero when he goes to save life/ or kick some alien ass. It is automatically ensured that the hero will come back triumphantly whenever he has spoken these lines.

e. "Daddy, are we gonna die?" - The dumbest question that was ever created in the disaster movie genre. This is the question I was talking about earlier in the post. Kids ask questions, a lot of em, but this has to be the dumbest of the lot. Applicable to kids of the hero who ask this just to annoy the crap out of you. They should know that they are the heroe's kids, Daddy dearest will always keep em away from harm's way. By this time the kids would have started to respect their Loser Dad after they see him bravely save the life of the guy- screwing- their- mom.

f. "We are gonna stay together, you understand me !?" - Obviously to be said by the hero, and applicable only to the hero who says this line to show you and the slutty ex-wife who the boss is. This line brings a feeling of reassurance among the kids and the ex-wife that Loser Dad will face anything selflessly to save their asses.

8. The Indian scientist : This is the final point which I had forgotten to add. Be assured of finding an Indian scientist who speaks Hindi with a heavy American accent when conversing with his wife, ironically, his English will sound more believable than his Hindi. And the odds are that he may have a last name "Patel". We Indians don't just drive taxis and serve Chicken tikka masala to White people anymore, hell yeah! We also calculate the temperature at which the Earth's crust will start giving rise to mega-tsunamis and can also warn you on how much time you got. This guy will be a regular fixture in forthcoming disaster movies, and an actor of Indian-American origin with a bad Hindi and even bad acting will play this character. You can see that he has modelled his speech on Apu, the Kwik E-mart guy from The Simpsons, though you can ask him to go easy on ending every sentence with "my friend!". The theatre will burst into cheers once we Indians are given credit for warning the world but ironically end up losing our own lives, the "We are here because of an Indian" part does ease the pain. We are a huge market for disaster movies, my people better be there in the script.


Final Note: Make sure that the guy-screwing- the ex-wife is killed in a car crash or has been smashed to pulp in a conveyor belt, or blown to pieces by the end of the movie. This will help in bringing back the hero and his family together, thus confirming your faith in the adage "An estranged family that faces a natural disaster together, survives together".