Just for a 'CHANGE': India Today

India Today

Since politics is the architect of any nation, and the election system is the architect of the system of politics in any country, I would like to start by talking about the election system in our country.

I'd call our election system as a festival of bribe, booze and biryani. I say 'festival' because the period of elections is a time of merry, not only for the politicians, but also for the people. For the politicians, it is the votes and the imminent powers and positions, and for the people, it is free food, drinks, household items and services; in other words, election time is a period of festivities where the majority of the Indian population ends up raping our motherland.  Wait, let's raise the first question. Is our country a home for dreamers and leaders or a breeding ground for beggars? Why do our tongues hang out on the sense of getting something free? Empowerment is a sinful deed in our country. 'The rich have to be rich, the poor have to be poor.' - this is the mantra on which our Indian politics is running. And yes, words like 'Change' and 'Development' are words of filth that are highly unacceptable in our nation.

The second question. Are we a true democracy? We claim our nation to be one of the biggest democracies in the world; but according to me, if we call our country to be a democracy, it is nothing but hypocrisy.  We are a corrupt country showcasing ourselves as a great country under the blankets of democracy. We talk high about our past, of how great a nation India was and how our self-esteem and dignity were wiped out by the British invasion. But wait, what about now? Aren't we ourselves doing the same what the British did once upon a time? We are not allowed to select our leaders directly, then in what way is it appropriate to call ourselves a democracy?

You might be knowing the recent arrest of two girls in Mumbai for their posts against the bandh in regard to the demise of  a Maharashtra political icon (I don't want to mention his name). If the demise of a politician has to be marked by a bandh, then I had say there are millions dying of hunger and poverty, what about them? You might say there is a difference between a politician and a common man, a difference of power and prestige, but I would like to remind you that it is the common man who has given that power, it is from the common man's sweat and blood the politician's prestige was born.

There is something called 'freedom of speech' that is present in our constitution. What does that mean? In our nation, if you speak something sensible, you will be behind the bars. But then, if you resort to rubbish talks and ridiculous acts, if your mouth dances to insane issues and meaningless comments, you will be hailed and made a member of the parliament (I guess that's how our parliament was formed). You speak the truth about a politician, about our government, and you will be stamped as a criminal and a traitor. Speaking the truth is condemned in this land of Mahatma Gandhi. Is 'truth' a taboo in India?

Now, let me focus on the current Indian mentality. I am not the President or the PM to really analyse the current state of our nation, but still, I would like to share with you a few thoughts of mine that were born out of my experience. We want India to rock at the Olympics. At the time of Olympic games, it is a general habit of us to compare our country with those of Olympic-hero nations like China and USA. We criticise our country's performance and talk high about other countries' achievements. We say Indians don't have a sporting sense. But then, we don't want our children to get into sports. We brainwash them by discouraging them in every possible way, and show sports as something negative and unsuccessful. Let's come to cricket, which is like a religion in our country, or rather, a binding religion, a religion that unites all other religions. We want India to win every match it plays, to bring home every world cup it is a part of. If we lose a match, we begin to tag our players as useless and irresponsible. We criticise our players in such a way and talk as if losing a game is a heinous sin. But we never want our children to become cricketers. And the explanations we give are far from sensible; saying Cricket is full of politics and one needs a cricketing background to succeed in the game. We will come to cinema, something that is as common as brushing our teeth daily. Comparisons are made between Indian and Hollywood cinema. We accuse Indian Directors for artificiality and lack of quality. We taunt them by saying that all they know is item and duet songs, vulgar comedy and cheap stories. But hey, hold on, are we okay with our children becoming actors or filmmakers? The answer is a NO. We want to watch films, even try to watch pirated versions, but it is a big no when it comes to our children making films. Why so? Yeah, because films too have politics. And one needs a film background to succeed. Otherwise, you would end up on the roads. #whatrubbish!
Lastly, I want to focus on politics, which is like a backbone for a nation. Which can either make or break a nation. For us, politics is an ocean of filth and vermin. The government is corrupt, the leaders are inefficient, lawlessness is plaguing our country etc.; this is what we say. Most people feel politics to be a sin, as a word that shouldn't be uttered. We, as usual, compare our nation's politics with that of USA or Japan and throw tantrums at our own government. We criticize our political scene in such a way, as if we had been researching India's political history for decades. And when it comes to our children joining politics, our mouths begin to spit discouragement and negativity. Serving the nation should be done by everyone else, except us. We are an exception. We have so many problems and lots of responsibilities. And hence, politics is not a good choice.

The tag-line for all the situations similar to the above ones is advising our children to study well, get into a good job, and lead a safe, secured and settled life. 'Someone has to come and Change India. But that someone doesn't include me' - This is the mantra that is penetrating through our breaths. We say India has to develop, but we often forget that today's children of ours' are tomorrow's citizens of this country.

We got to remember this; we don't have the right to blame the system unless we are ready to do something for it.

Enchanter Market - Part II

Where summer ripens at all hours?
But ever in the moonlight
She pined and pined away;
Sought them by night and day,
Found them no more, but dwindled and grew gray;
Then fell with the first snow,
While to this day no grass will grow
Where she lies low:
I planted daisies there a year ago
That never blow.
You should not loiter so."
"Nay hush," said Laura.
"Nay hush, my sister:
I ate and ate my fill,
Yet my mouth waters still;
To-morrow night I will
Buy more," and kissed her.
"Have done with sorrow;
I'll bring you plums to-morrow
Fresh on their mother twigs,
Cherries worth getting;
You cannot think what figs
My teeth have met in,
What melons, icy-cold
Piled on a dish of gold
Too huge for me to hold,
What peaches with a velvet nap,
Pellucid grapes without one seed:
Odorous indeed must be the mead
Whereon they grow, and pure the wave they drink,
With lilies at the brink,
And sugar-sweet their sap."

Golden head by golden head,
Like two pigeons in one nest
Folded in each other's wings,
They lay down, in their curtained bed:
Like two blossoms on one stem,
Like two flakes of new-fallen snow,
Like two wands of ivory
Tipped with gold for awful kings.
Moon and stars beamed in at them,
Wind sang to them lullaby,
Lumbering owls forbore to fly,
Not a bat flapped to and fro
Round their rest:
Cheek to cheek and 
Locked together in one nest.

Early in the morning
When the first cock crowed his warning,
Neat like bees, as sweet and busy,
Laura rose with Lizzie:
Fetched in honey, milked the cows,
Aired and set to rights the house,
Kneaded cakes of whitest wheat,
Cakes for dainty mouths to eat,
Next churned butter, whipped up cream,
Fed their poultry, sat and sewed;
Talked as modest maidens should
Lizzie with an open heart,
Laura in an absent dream,
One content, one sick in part;
One warbling for the mere bright day's delight,
One longing for the night.

At length slow evening came--
They went with pitchers to the reedy brook;
Lizzie most placid in her look,
Laura most like a leaping flame.
They drew the gurgling water from its deep
Lizzie plucked purple and rich golden flags,
Then turning homeward said: "The sunset flushes
Those furthest loftiest crags;
Come, Laura, not another maiden lags,
No wilful squirrel wags,
The beasts and birds are fast asleep."
But Laura loitered still among the rushes
And said the bank was steep.

And said the hour was early still,
The dew not fallen, the wind not chill:
Listening ever, but not catching
The customary cry,
"Come buy, come buy,"
With its iterated jingle
Of sugar-baited words:
Not for all her watching
Once discerning even one goblin
Racing, whisking, tumbling, hobbling;
Let alone the herds
That used to tramp along the glen,
In groups or single,
Of brisk fruit-merchant men.

Till Lizzie urged, "O Laura, come,
I hear the fruit-call, but I dare not look:
You should not loiter longer at this brook:
Come with me home.
The stars rise, the moon bends her arc,
Each glow-worm winks her spark,
Let us get home before the night grows dark;
For clouds may gather even
Though this is summer weather,
Put out the lights and drench us through;
Then if we lost our way what should we do?"

Laura turned cold as stone
To find her sister heard that cry alone,
That goblin cry,
"Come buy our fruits, come buy."
Must she then buy no more such dainty fruit?
Must she no more such succous pasture find,
Gone deaf and blind?
Her tree of life drooped from the root:
She said not one word in her heart's sore ache;
But peering thro' the dimness, naught discerning,
Trudged home, her pitcher dripping all the way;
So crept to bed, and lay
Silent 'til Lizzie slept;
Then sat up in a passionate yearning,
And gnashed her teeth for balked desire, and wept
As if her heart would break.

Day after day, night after night,
Laura kept watch in vain,
In sullen silence of exceeding pain.
She never caught again the goblin cry:
"Come buy, come buy,"
She never spied the goblin men
Hawking their fruits along the glen:
But when the noon waxed bright
Her hair grew thin and gray;
She dwindled, as the fair full moon doth turn
To swift decay, and burn
Her fire away.

One day remembering her kernel-stone
She set it by a wall that faced the south;
Dewed it with tears, hoped for a root,
Watched for a waxing shoot,
But there came none;
It never saw the sun,
It never felt the trickling moisture run:
While with sunk eyes and faded mouth
She dreamed of melons, as a traveller sees
False waves in desert drouth
With shade of leaf-crowned trees,
And burns the thirstier in the sandful breeze.

She no more swept the house,
Tended the fowls or cows,
Fetched honey, kneaded cakes of wheat,
Brought water from the brook:
But sat down listless in the chimney-nook
And would not eat.

Theism and Atheism?? Which one is the best?

Better be "The Curious" !!!

     “Faith means not wanting to know what the truth is”, quoted a German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. Faith should be rewarding and not disappointing. Blindly trusting anyone or anything no matter in what context that may be, is complete foolishness unless you know them far too much. I personally think that the only person being the most qualified to be completely trusted is YOU. Yes, it’s not God, it is you. Why is that people are so keen and ignorant in believing something that is non-existent rather than the things that are scientifically and logically proven? People who come out of the box to raise this question of arrogance (as some people may call it as such) belong to one type of static entity in this world. We call them Atheists.

         Coming to an equal and the opposite side of Atheists, let us consider a chimpanzee, not because its DNA patterns and ours match by 95%, it’s that it has less questioning and cognitive skills than humans and it’s just some random animal I could think of. Chimpanzees don’t understand the way a tube light works even if you try to explain. Apparently, in the chimpanzee’s world a glowing tube light is an object that is bright when looked at, nothing more, and nothing less. Compare chimpanzees to humans and God to the light bulb. We can’t understand the way of God. He is Omnipotent and some believe him to be the ultimate creator of each and every atom in this world. People who accept this totally absurd statement blindly belong to the other type of static entity. They are called Thiests. I am neither trying to promote theism nor talk ill of it, just trying to answer the most basic question that may possibly arise while reading this.

            Now that we know of the two extremities in this world, there is something that we are missing out. There are always things that do not fall under any classification or sub-division or anything what-so-ever. The dynamic entity, people who are uncertain of what they believe in, include three types of people, the reluctant (the ones who don’t care about any beliefs and principles), the ignorant (the ones who just take things as they come and do what others ask of them to do), and the curious (the ones who remain silent to observe things that happen around them on the urge to know more). Neglect the first two kinds; it’s unlikely of them to participate in these kinds of argument. Consider the third kind, the curious ones or in this case the neutral ones. A perfectly balanced system is highly unlikely to be thought of because it’s because of the curious ones change begins. Change is something that occurs in an imbalanced system because of the rapid increase in the principles and actions of either of the two extremities. You are not allowed to judge a show if you are a participatant. That would be completely absurd. You have two choices, Theism and Atheism. You always lose something when you pick a choice. Go with Theism and you lose practicality, and if you go with Atheism you lose spirituality. What if I say there is a third one? A choice that makes you skip the necessity of picking either of the two choices. The choice that is not considered as a choice and which makes you stand nowhere but at the centre making you look at the two extremities on both your sides with fascination and awesomeness, that is “Staying out of the show”. Remain neutral, observe the happenings, arrive at pros and cons but instead of picking a side apply the pros to your life and repeat the process from the beginning once the change occurs. That is smartness. Better be the curious!!

Enchanter Market - Part I

MORNING and evening
Maids heard the goblins cry:
"Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy:
Apples and quinces,
Lemons and oranges,
Plump unpecked cherries-
Melons and raspberries,
Bloom-down-cheeked peaches,
Swart-headed mulberries,
Wild free-born cranberries,
Crab-apples, dewberries,
Pine-apples, blackberries,
Apricots, strawberries--
All ripe together
In summer weather--
Morns that pass by,
Fair eves that fly;
Come buy, come buy;
Our grapes fresh from the vine,
Pomegranates full and fine,
Dates and sharp bullaces,
Rare pears and greengages,
Damsons and bilberries,
Taste them and try:
Currants and gooseberries,
Bright-fire-like barberries,
Figs to fill your mouth,
Citrons from the South,
Sweet to tongue and sound to eye,
Come buy, come buy."
Evening by evening
Among the brookside rushes,
Laura bowed her head to hear,
Lizzie veiled her blushes:
Crouching close together
In the cooling weather,
With clasping arms and cautioning lips,
With tingling cheeks and finger-tips.
"Lie close," Laura said,
Pricking up her golden head:
We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"
"Come buy," call the goblins
Hobbling down the glen.
"O! cried Lizzie, Laura, Laura,
You should not peep at goblin men."
Lizzie covered up her eyes
Covered close lest they should look;


Laura reared her glossy head,
And whispered like the restless brook:
"Look, Lizzie, look, Lizzie,
Down the glen tramp little men.
One hauls a basket,
One bears a plate,
One lugs a golden dish
Of many pounds' weight.
How fair the vine must grow
Whose grapes are so luscious;
How warm the wind must blow
Through those fruit bushes."
"No," said Lizzie, "no, no, no;
Their offers should not charm us,
Their evil gifts would harm us."
She thrust a dimpled finger
In each ear, shut eyes and ran:
Curious Laura chose to linger
Wondering at each merchant man.
One had a cat's face,
One whisked a tail,
One tramped at a rat's pace,
One crawled like a snail,
One like a wombat prowled obtuse and furry,
One like a ratel tumbled hurry-scurry.
Lizzie heard a voice like voice of doves
Cooing all together:
They sounded kind and full of loves
In the pleasant weather.
Laura stretched her gleaming neck
Like a rush-imbedded swan,
Like a lily from the beck,
Like a moonlit poplar branch,
Like a vessel at the launch
When its last restraint is gone.
Backwards up the mossy glen
Turned and trooped the goblin men,
With their shrill repeated cry,
"Come buy, come buy."
When they reached where Laura was
They stood stock still upon the moss,
Leering at each other,
Brother with queer brother;
Signalling each other,
Brother with sly brother.
One set his basket down,
One reared his plate;
One began to weave a crown
Of tendrils, leaves, and rough nuts brown
(Men sell not such in any town);


One heaved the golden weight
Of dish and fruit to offer her:
"Come buy, come buy," was still their cry.
Laura stared but did not stir,
Longed but had no money:
The whisk-tailed merchant bade her taste
In tones as smooth as honey,
The cat-faced purred,
The rat-paced spoke a word
Of welcome, and the snail-paced even was heard;
One parrot-voiced and jolly
Cried "Pretty Goblin" still for "Pretty Polly";
One whistled like a bird.
But sweet-tooth Laura spoke in haste:
"Good folk, I have no coin;
To take were to purloin:
I have no copper in my purse,
I have no silver either,
And all my gold is on the furze
That shakes in windy weather
Above the rusty heather."
"You have much gold upon your head,"
They answered altogether:
"Buy from us with a golden curl."
She clipped a precious golden lock,
She dropped a tear more rare than pearl,
Then sucked their fruit globes fair or red:
Sweeter than honey from the rock,
Stronger than man-rejoicing wine,
Clearer than water flowed that juice;
She never tasted such before,
How should it cloy with length of use?
She sucked and sucked and sucked the more
Fruits which that unknown orchard bore,
She sucked until her lips were sore;
Then flung the emptied rinds away,
But gathered up one kernel stone,
And knew not was it night or day
As she turned home alone.
Lizzie met her at the gate
Full of wise upbraidings:
"Dear, you should not stay so late,
Twilight is not good for maidens;
Should not loiter in the glen
In the haunts of goblin men.
Do you not remember Jeanie,
How she met them in the moonlight,
Took their gifts both choice and many,
Ate their fruits and wore their flowers
Plucked from bowers

Two minutes to save the world (short story)

My story begins before time was measured, chronicled, and recorded on the pages of history, before man had conscious thought, when the world was an infant and myth of the Norse men ran rampant in middle earth.

The earth was just beginning to form her contours, and deserts and dunes alternated with the sea of Tethys in asserting itself. Civilization was a speck in the distant horizon and of the five elements only four had been recognized for no fire was yet to be named and given the exalted status of an element.  It was at this time (pardon me, figuratively speaking for time had not been realized then) that a black box arose out of the churning bowels of the earth. That fateful box and its contents were to be inexplicably but inevitably woven into the fabric of the lives of my ancestors and myself.

I have been remiss in not mentioning my identity but, I think, I shall reserve that piece of enlightenment a little longer. To get back to the box, its contents were said to be ominous and downright dangerous or so the gods claimed. The Norse, Greek and Roman pantheon of gods and goddesses were involved in heated altercations about the unknown contents of the box. Treys and Thor, Juno and Jupiter, Dis and Posidors were at loss to explain the sudden appearance of this box, which Sybille incidentally took to be an omen, portentous of evil. Not that any omen heralded good news but this was exceptionally evil. Though her prophecies had a terrifying ring to them, the gods had developed an innate habit of ignoring her and most of the goddesses too were staunch supporters of the dictum ‘Ignorance is bliss’. No wonder most of my prayers go unanswered, but to get back to my narrative, none of the gods actually knew the contents of the box, and every time they tried to probe its depths they would draw a blank. They did not let the opposing pantheon of gods get wise about this sorry fact though. Reputations had to be maintained. Their charming halos would not be able to survive a scandal.

Jupiter was essentially flustered.  According to him, he was the supreme ruler and he should be able to ferret out the truth about the box. He decided to go to the creator. That plan came to naught too as the Creator sent him back to his glowing abode with his tail between his legs, umm figuratively speaking, and offered him only a smug smile as an answer. Insecurity started to plague the peaceful haven of heaven and middle earth was restless too. Rumours began to spread like fire about the going-ons deep in the core of the newly born world. Fights broke out amongst the gods, the opposing gods and goddesses hurled petty threats and accusations and the box silently watched the chaos it had created without raising the proverbial finger.

Jupiter and Juno held council with Jesus and they decided that the box had created enough trouble without it being opened and it had best remain like that. Juno started to protest but swallowed her curiosity after receiving a quelling glare from Jupiter. They decided to bury the box deep within the earth suspended between middle earth and the world where no one would be able to dredge it out. The matter being resolved, the gods heaved a sigh of relief. The gods had regarded the box as a mockery, a threat to their abilities as celestial beings. With the box safely shelved away they could return to being complacently omnipotent.

So the box waited passively, awaiting its chance to carry out what it was created for. Years went by, centuries went past, the world grew older, wiser, civilization reared its head (ugly or pretty is a matter of your opinion), people lived and died and loved (not necessarily in that order, of course) and the box lay suspended, a silent spectator to the glories and victories, death and destruction, revolution and rebirth which swept over the world in waves over the ages. It was now that the pages of history would cease to turn and fate too would make a wrong turn. The box was about to enjoy a small private joke…

A girl named Pandora had a certain box in her possession. The story of how she acquired that box was… ahem…history, I’m afraid, but I am sure all of you who have been keep tracking the various legends are aware of the rest of that unfortunate story. Jupiter and Zeus frantically consulted one another trying to figure out how the box had wormed its way out of imprisonment. However it was hastily closed and returned  to its hiding place, this time under the surveillance of Mercury and Neptune. They were ordered never to let the box out of their sight. Thus yet again many years passed and the box decided to revise its contents to make it that little bit more lethal, a formidable weapon worthy of confusing the heavens. A few illustrious cavemen had discovered fire in the meanwhile and its uses were innumerable but so were its drawbacks. But people slowly learned to control it, or so they thought. The box had a penchant for abstract fiery things and an idea began to form in its mind…

Year 3012

Enter yours truly. My name is or rather was Porphyra. I am a marine biologist and have consequently changed my name to suit the times. You can call me Gemini 401. Naming proceeds something like this – you join a profession or some group or a confederation and you acquire the name of that organisation or vocation accompanied by your registration number. I decided to take on the name of my group rather than my profession as I didn’t take the idea of being called Bio-401 all the time. Made me sound like some sixth subject in a school curriculum. Incidentally, Pandora was my ancestor. But after the aforementioned debate I think the family disinherited her- got to protect our shining armour, can’t have chinks in them.

I was in an under-water excavating expedition in a nuclear powered state of the art submarine when it happened. The deep-sea diver lowered the automated drill into the bed of the sea. Immediately the sea began to churn and swirl and storm around us. According to the meteorological reports this was to be taken as an anomaly and code red was to be executed, which translated, meant worry for the inconvenience caused by our faulty reports and would you kindly pull out now. The sea continued to treat us like hostile enemies. But we could not pull out as the deep-sea diver was still down there. We decided to go ahead with our mission. We lowered the bathyscape and came up against something hard and impregnable. Exchanging the instrument for a remote control automated glove, which was a modified version of the crane, we lifted it out of the bed and pulled it into the hull. Venting our ballast we rose up to the surface and the deep-water specimen was taken to your laboratory at the top of the sky town despite the vehement protests made by the sea.

At that time I was ignorant about the incidents that had led up to that fateful expedition so when I saw a box sitting on our observation table, I almost laughed out loud. We have gone to such lengths to investigate a harmless box?! According to our reports, unidentified objects were emanated from that part of the sea and we had been asked to investigate. Unaware of the apocalypse that awaited us we opened the box…

‘…Dust to dust, ashes to ashes…’ were the words I heard when I regained consciousness. Mercury sat looking sadly at me. ‘We tried to stop you but you wouldn’t let up. Runs in the family, I think,’ he said. I realized I was not really surprised to see him. I asked him to explain. ‘The box had created the antithesis of fire. The laboratory exploded and the alter ego of fire is on a spree of destruction and we have exactly…’ I did not let him finish.

‘The lab exploded? But-‘ I stuttered. ‘Yes, my child, you are indeed dead and have joined us but we have some pressing matters to attend to,’ he said. ‘We have exactly two minutes to save the world.’

‘If that is a joke, it’s a bad one.’ I said.

‘It is no joke, think of some way to counter the fire. Water is not an option, this fire seems to absorb water very well. Think fast!’

Okay, I thought, we are in trouble, which is the understatement of the decade. What would stop the invisible fire, I wondered. The clock was ticking – there were only one minute and thirty-six seconds left to the deadline. I could hear the angels singing in mournful tones, which was not helping in the least. The gods were anxious for they did not want to have to start from scratch again. Jupiter looked at me beseechingly and I managed a wan smile. Meanwhile the fire spread like an orange plague licking at the essence of life and swallowing it in a terrifying display of power.

 My mind seemed to have become numb. Time seemed to freeze; only the inexorable end hurtled towards the world and its people. If water could not stop this alter ego of fire then…wait a minute, I thought, what about fire. Fight poison with poison, so fire with fire. I rushed to Mercury who set off on his winged feet at once. Fire who had been hiding was summoned and asked to confront his alter ego. There were only fifty-eight seconds left. Quaking with fear we had to literally push him into the path of his destructive alter ego. The effect was explosive and incredible. Matter and anti-matter – or should I say fire and anti-fire – dashed, blended and was completely annihilated. The world was saved though it was only a charred image of its previous growing self; but it was intact, and we could breathe again, metaphorically speaking. The world was still shaking from the repercussions of the explosion, which was spreading through the universe. Even gods flinched, such was the potency of the explosion. We let Neptune wash away the blackened debris and we left the rest of the reconstruction to the men and the angels. Suddenly we realized that something was missing. After the brilliant flare, darkness had thankfully settled in. we looked at the star-studded plate of the heavens and contemplated a happy life. Somewhere in the space-time continuum the box smirked. It had been victorious. In the expanse of darkness above the world the sky held no promise of light or dawn. Fire being destroyed, the sun was gone. Only glowing embers remained which would soon die out.

Had we really saved the world or simply stalled its end… The box smugly watched as desolation captured the world in its steady grip. But…

The creator said, ‘Let there be light!!!’ And there was light…

MISS FORTUNE (A PLAY)

Miss Fortune
A Short Play
by
Mutnuru Muralidhar

Cast of Characters

Miss Fortune: An aging gypsy fortune-teller

Kelly Alex George: A teenage girl


The Time
Present (however the sets, props and costumes give the appearance of the late 1940's)

The Place
The storefront space of Miss Fortune

At Rise: KELLY ALEX GEORGE enters and walks toward the entrance of Miss Fortune's storefront.
KELLY is a teenage girl of 16. SHE wears a modest skirt and blouse and has a ponytail with a ribbon in her hair.
SHE carries a black fancy leather purse. KELLY enters Miss Fortune's storefront but is apprehensive.
A sign on the entrance reads "Miss Fortune Is In - Destiny Need Not Be A Surprise."

Miss Fortune's storefront space is dark and mysterious, somehow strange or perhaps a bit eerie or unearthly.
There is also a lot of dust. KELLY looks around. Center stage is a clothed table with two chairs.
A large crystal ball is set on the table along with a bell and a note card. KELLY sits down at the table and picks up the note card.

KELLY
       (Reads the note card aloud.)
Please ring bell for service.

KELLY rings the bell. SHE waits a few seconds. Nothing happens. SHE rings the bell again.

MISS FORTUNE
      (Off stage.)
No need to get your undies in an uproar - I'll be right there.


KELLY opens her purse and checks her money.


From off stage, a loud crash is heard, as if someone has fallen.


MISS FORTUNE
       (Off stage.)
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH - Crap !!!!


MISS FORTUNE enters. SHE is wearing the ensemble of an old and worn-out flapper. SHE is completely disheveled.


MISS FORTUNE
Boy - am I glad you're here.


MISS FORTUNE sits down at the table with Kelly.


MISS FORTUNE
You know - it's been one hell of a day already. So - what brings you to my humble abode? Although I don't live here - I'm not really sure why I said that actually -

KELLY
Well - I - I'd like to have my fortune told.

MISS FORTUNE
You've come to the right place. I am a fortune-teller. At least I was a fortune-teller, the last time I checked. It did say fortune-teller on the door when you came in - didn't it?

KELLY
Yes, it did.

MISS FORTUNE
Good.

There is an awkward moment of silence.

MISS FORTUNE
Oh - how rude of me not to introduce myself - Miss Fortune's my name - your destiny is my business. And you are?

KELLY
Kelly Alex George.

MISS FORTUNE
I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Kelly.
       (Holds out her hand for Kelly to shake.)

Both women wait for the other to speak.

KELLY
       (Finally.)
Lovely weather we're having for this time of year.

MISS FORTUNE
It certainly is. I remember when I was young girl - about your age - must have been 40 years ago or more - how old are you?

KELLY
I'm 16.

MISS FORTUNE
Oh - the sweet simplicity of youth. Appreciate it while you can - one day - before you know it - it'll be gone. Oh - to be 16 again -

There is another awkward silence.

KELLY
Is there anything special you need for me to do?

MISS FORTUNE
No - I don't think so.

There is a brief pause.

KELLY
Are you going to read my fortune?

MISS FORTUNE
Your fortune? Oh - yes - right. That's why you're here. Shame on me. I completely forgot. Heaven knows I'd lose my nogen if it wasn't fastened on. I seem to have misplaced my Lucky a few days back and I haven't been myself since. Have you seen him?

KELLY
Seen who?

MISS FORTUNE
My Lucky?

KELLY
I don't think so -

MISS FORTUNE
What kind of a fortune-teller can I possibly be without my Lucky?

KELLY
Maybe I should go -

MISS FORTUNE
      (Howls.)
NOOOOOOOOOOO! You mustn't go until our work is done. There is still much we need to do. The path you're on is uncertain - unpredictable - ambiguous and quite vague. Your future is obscure, hazy, indistinct somehow. You are in a state of confusion - a decision must be made today.

KELLY
A decision about what?

MISS FORTUNE
Your destiny - your fate.

KELLY
I don't understand -

MISS FORTUNE
You may have had the thought from time to time that life was about chance - random acts both good and bad. Well you've come here today to learn the truth - everything that happens is fate - predetermined already - actually ordained from the time of birth. But somehow, your destiny has run amuck. You're stalled on the highway of life. You've come to me for a tow.

KELLY
Oh -

MISS FORTUNE
Not to worry. You're in the right place. And at exactly the right time. But I guess it always works that way, doesn't it.

KELLY
What?

MISS FORTUNE
Life.

KELLY
I suppose so.

MISS FORTUNE
Nothing to fear, my dear. It's a very simple process.

KELLY
What are you going to do?

MISS FORTUNE
I want to perform the Ritual of the Domestic Warrior Princess of Kulu, but first, I'll need to summon the Great Voice from Beyond. That is - as long as he's not on vacation.

MISS FORTUNE starts to dance outrageously.

MISS FORTUNE
Get down - get funky. Funky like a monkey. Ooooooohhh, baby, baby - Oooooohhh, baby, baby. That's the way - Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh. I like it - Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh.

KELLY stares in disbelief.

MISS FORTUNE
What is it you young folks say today? I'm getting jiggy with it.

MISS FORTUNE finally stops dancing.

MISS FORTUNE
Now for the Chant of the Unforgotten. Or is that the Unforgiven. Oh- I can't remember.
       (Pointing to Kelly's purse.)
You wouldn't happen to have the eye of a newt in there, would you?

KELLY
No - I don't.

MISS FORTUNE
That's too bad - perhaps we can make due without it.

MISS FORTUNE rises and ceremoniously begins the chant.

MISS FORTUNE
Macaroni, jello, refried beans, ham
Frogs legs, chicken lips, eye of newt, spam.
You have no idea how difficult it is to find something that rhymes with ham.

KELLY
I - um -

MISS FORTUNE
SHHHHHH! Can you hear him?

KELLY
Hear who?

MISS FORTUNE
The Great Voice from Beyond

KELLY
I don't hear anything.

MISS FORTUNE
Listen.

BOTH WOMEN listen intently but there is silence.

KELLY
I don't hear a sound.

MISS FORTUNE
Must have been a false alarm. It happens all the time. Wait - there it is again - Listen -

KELLY
       (After a moment.)
No - I'm sorry. I don't hear a thing.

MISS FORTUNE
Wait -

MISS FORTUNE begins to go into a trance.

MISS FORTUNE
Hummmmmm…..Licorice…..candy corn…..chocolate covered cherries…..ice cream - ooohhh - banana fudge ripple swirl…..oatmeal raisin cookies…..lemon meringue pie…….tuna fish???? Lucky - is that you? Where are you, precious? Won't you come home to mommy? I miss my pretty little kitty cat -

KELLY loudly clears her throat awakening Miss Fortune from her trance.

MISS FORTUNE
I must have dozed off there for a minute. Now - where were we? Ah - yes - your destiny is destroyed - a wreck - in ruin. Let's see what I've got under here -

MISS FORTUNE puts her head under the table in search of a restorative.

MISS FORTUNE
I know. We can make a life-size replica of you in wax - - - no, too messy. How about a voodoo doll - - - no, bad karma. Ah-ha! Here's the perfect thing.

MISS FORTUNE rises from under the table.

MISS FORTUNE
Here I have the ultimate in fortune-telling technology. The finest in destiny damage control. The top-of-the-line tool for universal karmic reversal. I present to you ……The Equalizer.
       (Shows Kelly a boiled egg.)

KELLY
It looks like an egg.

MISS FORTUNE
It is an egg.

KELLY
What's so special about it?

MISS FORTUNE
This egg has unyielding powers of metacarnation, prestidigitation, and telesignia-portation. And what's more - you can eat it.

KELLY
Why does that egg have so much power?

MISS FORTUNE
I boiled it.

KELLY
Oh -

MISS FORTUNE
With this egg in your life - all your problems will be solved. Your destiny will be put back on track. Your fate will once again be certain - definite - secure - clear. Bet you feel a whole lot better already.

KELLY
To be honest, Miss Fortune, I'm a little disappointed.

MISS FORTUNE
Disappointed?! What ever for?

KELLY
Well - I came here hoping to get the answer to a question.

MISS FORTUNE
But I saved your destiny. Rescued your fate. I even gave you an egg.

KELLY
I know - I appreciate all you've done. But I really want to know if Robin McDonald is going to ask me to the school dance this Friday night.

MISS FORTUNE
Love. It's unpredictable, impulsive, spontaneous, impetuous - or maybe that's youth that's impetuous - but no matter. Questions of love I cannot answer.

KELLY
Oh.

MISS FORTUNE
Only time will tell.

KELLY rises.

MISS FORTUNE
That'll be Rs.1000 for today.

KELLY looks at Miss Fortune.

MISS FORTUNE
And don't forget your egg, my dear.

THE END

 

Best Friend (Lyrics)

Come on, come on, best friend

We all need a best friend, a best friend

I remember when we was young
Playing pool after school, keeping it cool
People say we were the troublesome two
I know the girls like me and you
I can never forget the times you've covered my back
You helped me out and cut me slack
There was nothing you'd never do
It's all about me and you

You're my brother, you're my sister
We'll stick together
No matter what, no matter what

Best friend, never gonna let you down
Best friend, always gonna be around
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you
We all need a best friend, to understand
A best friend, to take your hand
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you

You remember the days when we would
Kick back, lay back
We'd be chillin' with the ladies
Those times were the greatest
So don't worry about a thing my friend
Cos you can count on me, thick and thin
Cos I'll be there right till the end, till the end

You're my brother, you're my sister
We'll stick together
No matter what, no matter what

Best friend, never gonna let you down
Best friend, always gonna be around
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you
We all need a best friend, to understand
A best friend, to take your hand
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you

Come on, come on, best friend
Come on, come on, best friend
Come on, come on, best friend
Come on, come on, best friend

You're my brother, you're my sister
We'll stick together
No matter what, no matter what
You're my brother, you're my sister
We'll stick together
No matter what, no matter what

Best friend, never gonna let you down
Best friend, always gonna be around
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you
We all need a best friend, to understand
A best friend, to take your hand
You know, whatever life puts you through
I'll be there for you